Chapter 1
Takatori Mamoru smiled brilliantly for the cameras, seeming to all the world the most happy, well-adjusted person in existence, what with all his wealth and power. Shouldn't he be happy? Shouldn't he smile despite the fact that his world was crumbling horribly around him?
"Aya-kun," he mouthed the words as he finally managed to push pass the press and cameramen with their flashing lights that only served to worsen his headache. Aya had told him that Youji was safe and well; he had to believe that. He didn't know what had happened to Ken, but he had to believe that he was fine, as well. He had to. If he didn't, he would most likely go insane. They were the closest things he had ever had to family and taking them away was like ripping out his heart.
Not that he was feeling much of anything at the moment, so perhaps his heart had been torn out. Or maybe it had just turned to stone.
Aya. He told had him, not as if he were reporting to Persia, but as if he were talking to Omi, that Youji had been admitted to a hospital and that he was fine. When he had asked which hospital, wanting to go see him, Aya had gave him that look with eyes not quite dead but filled with such deep pain and had said, "He doesn't remember. Anything." Then he had walked away.
He had stood frozen for a moment, simply staring after Aya's retreating form. He had known him long enough to hear the unspoken, "Leave him. It was what he wanted." He also saw Aya's heart and it was bleeding. Again.
Youji had wanted to forget everything and be reborn even if it meant that he would serve Esset afterwards. That had been his greatest desire: to be able to let go of the past so that it could no longer haunt him. That past included Aya and that was what had hurt him the most. Aya didn't care for many people, but he had loved Youji, though perhaps he had never voiced the words. It was the guilt in Aya that made him distance himself from everyone, especially those he loved the most. He had done it with his sister, Aya-chan, thinking she would be better off without him in her life. Youji had only affirmed that belief by telling Aya-kun that he wanted to forget the past.
Now he had no idea where Aya was, if he was all right, or if he was dead. There was always hope left. Aya couldn't die yet because he couldn't be meant to die with such heartbreak, such hurt in his life. Aya was strong, even stronger than Mamoru was. He couldn't die. Mamoru wouldn't allow him to die yet.
He spent the rest of the night in a daze, responding properly when spoken to but otherwise his thoughts were occupied with what had happened to the other members of Weiss. When he finally was able to return home and sink into bed he began to feel the tension that he had been holding in all day and forced himself to relax as much as he could. He didn't stir when he saw a dark shadow appear, seemingly from no where, and sit down on the bed near him. This was a familiar shadow.
"You are worried about them."
Mamoru closed his eyes, sighing faintly. "Yes, I am. As long as there are no bodies, I will always believe they are alive." He sat up suddenly and looked searchingly into the other's eyes. "You could find out, couldn't you? You could track them down and find out for sure?"
The shadow frowned, then moved closer to him, but not into the soft glow of moonlight that spilled partly across the bed. "Who would protect you?" He did not trust that task to any other, despite the fact that there WERE others who protected him. They were not enough.
"I don't care what happens to me, I just have to know for certain. I can't stand not knowing! I-If they are dead then I can at least put them to rest, but if they are - if they are still alive I would never forgive myself for not finding them!"
The shadow was silent for a moment, then he nodded faintly. "Then I will find them." His almost emotionless look betrayed some of his worry and concern; he would check up on him periodically to make certain he was all right. He always did.
For the first time since Weiss had disappeared, Mamoru smiled. The tears were a relief, as well. It had been such a long time since he had allowed himself to cry. The last time had been when he had thought Youji might die. But Youji hadn't. Now, he didn't know where he was. But he would find them.
"Thank you, Nagi." He reached out and grasped the hand that rested near his, pulling it into the patch of moonlight. "I love you, you know. Even if you can't find them - but I do hope that you can - I don't want you to take any risks; I want you back safely."
He nodded, his expression once more unreadable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~It had been strange, now that he thought on it. Indeed, he had a lot of time to think recently, being locked in the Tokyo Penitentiary as he was. There was, unfortunately - or fortunately, depending on how one looked at it - a lot of time to think. They had been unable to complete their last mission. It had been only he and Aya since Youji had lost his memories. Aya wouldn't tell him where he was, but he said that he looked happy and that was really all that mattered to him.
Aya had told him to leave, as well. He had a personal mission to complete that might take him from Weiss all together. He had hesitated, though; he had hesitated and had not gone after all.
Aya had almost convinced him that he could complete the mission on his own, giving Ken time to leave, to leave Weiss, to hop on the first plane and disappear forever. Then Ken had remembered Aya's sometimes sucidical mission tactics and it occured to him that maybe Aya didn't want to complete this mission. Maybe he just wanted to die. Which made far too much sense, especially with the way Aya had been acting lately now that Youji was gone for good, as far as Aya was concerned. Aya would certainly not be the one to call him back to join Weiss.
Yet, Ken remembered the look on Aya's face as they had looked down on Youji and his "certain" death. There had been such love in his eyes as he told him, "Wait for me." And of course Aya had saved him, taken him to the hospital, shadowed the place for a time until he was certain he would live and then had left.
He had been about to throw it all away, to throw away his life with Weiss, with Aya, with Omi, and Youji though he no longer was an offical member of the team any more. It was true that he wasn't like Aya, he wasn't able to act as if nothing bothered him. Inside, however, Aya was bothered by everything that happened, but he was strong. Aya would have survived, no matter what the mission was.
"Wait for me, Aya," he told his quiet cell, purposely echoing Aya's own words to Youji. "In just a short while - in a short while, I'll go." Not Weiss. He had decided he couldn't leave Weiss, but he would go to Aya and he would make certain that he was okay and he would never leave him again. It was time to be honest with himself. Maybe, maybe - but he couldn't hope too much. He had to get out first.
"Prisoner 1257!" The doors had opened and he hadn't noticed. He sighed, dragged himself to his feet and walked out the door and stood obediantly while the guard glared at him a moment before moving on to the next prisoner.
Soon, Aya. It was the only thing he was still certain of.