Chapter 9
Makoto stares at the open folder in front of him. It is an important account and normally he would have no problem giving it his full attention. But it hadn't exactly been a normal couple of weeks. He runs a hand through his short blond hair and tries to concentrate. For once Sanji and Erisu are both being quiet and are absorbed in their own work, but he cannot seem to follow their example no matter how hard he tries.
It is Monday, the weekend went by far too quickly and Makoto feels that instead of making any progress in solving his personal problems he has only made them worse. He had thought that if he could confirm that he knew the man in the hospital that it would help him to alleviate the mental roller coaster that his subconscious seemed to be on. It had not. In fact if anything it had made it worse.
The dreams had not stopped, the nightmares had actually become more vivid. He still remembered only bits and pieces when he jerked awake, but they were less disjointed. He clearly remembered being in a warehouse, around him young girls were hung on crosses, while men in black robes chanted around them. With him was a young man, his hands were sharp metal claws covered in blood. In another there was a dark haired woman laying dead at his feet and he knew with the certainty that comes with dreams that he had killed her. He had this dream twice on Saturday night and both times he had been awoken by his own screams.
The other dreams hadn't stopped either... Saturday night he had masturbated before going to bed hoping that would satiate his body so even if he dreamed of his phantom lover he would not physically act out the dream, it hadn't worked. Sunday night he had pleasured himself twice before going to bed and he had woken up first at 1:00 am covered in his own seed, and then what had him more disturbed, the reason he couldn't concentrate now was that when he woke up that morning his pajama's were once again sticking to him. Under other circumstances he would have patted himself on the back for his sexual prowess, but the circumstances were that his wife was going to kill him.
Asuka. Makoto looked at his watch. It was nearly 13:00, he would be getting off work in five hours and then he would have to face Asuka. He had no idea what he was going to say to her. He had no idea what she was going to say to him. She had called and left messages on the answering machine. Saturday telling him that she had arrived at her sister's safely, then again Sunday night reminding him that they had to talk when she got home Monday night. He had been home when both calls came in, but he hadn't answered the phone. The anger that he had felt on Friday night was still present, not nearly as strong as it had been but still there and he was worried that it would erupt once he had contact with his wife.
Makoto rubs his eyes and tries to force himself to concentrate on the report before him, getting in trouble for not getting his work done would not help him to smooth out the mess his world seemed to have become in such a short period of time. No that wouldn't do at all.
*********There had been a voice calling to him and Aya had tried to reach it. He was in the dark and the air around him was thick like sludge making it hard to move, but he had forced himself to keep trying to reach the voice. He was sure it was Aya-chan and she was calling for him, she needed him, and if he couldn't get to her than everything he had done, all the bad he had done was just a waste because if he couldn't get to her she would be dead. But he was tired, his muscles protesting against the weight that seemed to get heavier each time he struggled against it, the closer he thought he was getting to Aya-chan the deeper the darkness around him became, the harder it was to move.
Then he heard her, loud and clear, she was so close, sounding so sad. The pain in her voice making him reach for the last reserves of strength, forcing his treacherous body to break through the barrier around him. "No Mother," she was crying, "Please Mother, wake up! Please wake up!" Such a pitiful wail, he had to be able to get to her, he had to be able to protect her.
"Aya!" He screamed as he clawed his way through the crushing blackness. "Aya!"
*******The middle aged nurse had worked in the same hospital on the same floor in the same ward for nearly fifteen years. She had been a nurse for another fifteen years before that, and never had she had as chaotic and as loud a day as the one she was experiencing now.
The young lady in room 435 had woken the night before after more than a week of unconsciousness. Her mother, a kind woman, who looked as though she had been beaten by the world, had come to see her early that morning and had told her of some bad news that had befallen her brother. Kuri was not a gossip, nor did she meddle in others business but she had heard, unintentionally, that the young man had some sort of run in with the Yakuza, and it had left him crippled somehow. On hearing the news about her brother the young girl had begun to cry insensately. That had been hours ago and the young lady had yet to stop her wailing no matter how much the hospital staff told her that she might be causing herself more damage and that she should be happy that she herself had beaten the odds and had woken up at all. Kuri thought they should sedate her, but the doctors had said no.
A new patient had also been brought in, she had suffered a massive stroke and was on life support to keep her alive. With her came five daughters, all of them short and over weight with swine like faces. They sat around their mother's bed side wailing for her to awaken. They had been keeping their obnoxious vigil for their mother for almost as long as the young girl further down the hall had been crying for her brother. If Kuri had her way she would have sedated the flock of sisters too.
Two of the regular nurses had called in sick, one of the doctors who should have been on duty had been called down for an emergency surgery, and Asuka, who was usually very good at her job had been walking around in a daze all day. And now the alarms were going off in room 438 and being so understaffed Kuri had to go to check on the patient herself.
The patient in 438 was stable so the sudden flat line that had registered at the nurses station did not have her worried. She took her time walking down the hall, she assumed that the alarms were sounding due to some sort of equipment failure, most likely a dead battery. It happened every now and then. She was just glad that the man who usually visited that patient was not at the hospital. He would be throwing a fit over the alarms if he had been there, even if he had been sitting right next to the bed and could plainly tell with his own eyes that the patient was fine. Kuri did not like that man, he terrified her and she was not a woman who scared easily.
As she approaches the room the alarm is drowned out by the pathetic wails from the two rooms across the hall. Kuri is going to have to take at least half a bottle of aspirin to get rid of the sharp throbbing that is building behind her eyes. A week before she had a bloody nose and a terrible headache, so painful she could have sworn she was having an aneurysm. Ever since then her head had been very sensitive to loud noises.
Rubbing her temples Kuri walks into room 438 and freezes, the man who had been in a coma for a year is awake. And not only is he conscious but he is on the floor three feet away from his bed, struggling to pull the feeding tube from his nose. The alarms have sounded because he has already successfully removed all of the monitors from his body. She had seen many people wake from comas in her time as a nurse. Usually they opened their eyes and are able to look around, or maybe they would be able to clutch at someone's hand, the longer they had been under the weaker the response. Never had she seen anyone awaken, fall off their bed, and thrash around on the floor like a fish out of water.
Coming to her senses she hits the call alarm next to the door of the room. Then she runs over and drops down next to the man to try and stop him from tearing apart his throat and sinuses as he attempts to pull the tube, that is fed down into his stomach, free.
"It's ok," she tries to reassure him, "it is alright." She grabs at his hands and pulls them from his face. After being in a coma for so long he is very weak and she has no trouble pinning his wrists together.
Wide purple eyes stare at her as the man tries to pull himself from her grasp. When the attempt fails he lets out a guttural snarl and bites Kuri's hand, hard enough to draw blood. Yelping, Kuri lets the man's wrists go and pulls her wounded hand to her chest. The man fingers once again fly up to the tube in his nose and with another snarl he pulls it out. His nose begins to gush blood and he starts to cough harshly as the long tube comes free. Nonphased by the damage that he has just caused himself the man struggles to pull himself up onto his knees only to have his arms give out on him sending him crashing face first onto the linoleum floor. Taking only a second to regain himself, the man makes a second attempt to pull himself up but his arms are too weak to support his weight and he starts to fall over again. He is caught by two doctors who have come running into the room, their arms around his chest saving him from a second nose dive.
"Be careful," Kuri warns as she looks at the perfect imprint of teeth on the back of her hand, "That little bastard bit me."
******Schuldig is smoking and staring up at the ceiling, the sweat from his exertions drying on his chest. The boy next to him breathing has already softened into the gentle rhythm of sleep. He had picked the young man up Saturday night after leaving Crawford at the apartment to stew in the information that Kritter was behind the attempted Enomoto scandal. He had needed something to distract him so that he wouldn't repeat the same mistake he had before and go to Aya while he was still keyed up from working.
Schuldig looks over at the sleeping boy next to him. He was a very talented distraction. Schuldig had kept him with him for the next few days, letting him stay at the small apartment that Schuldig kept for such occasions. He knew that the boy thought he had found himself a permanent meal ticket and that amused Schuldig to no end. The boy was very vain, it was one of the things that Schuldig enjoyed about him. Imagining the shock and disbelief that the boy would feel when he tossed aside made Schuldig smile. Schuldig of course had done nothing to discourage the boy, it made the young man try to please him just that much harder. Schuldig stretches and puts out the end of his cigarette and settles into the pillows letting himself give into the tiredness that comes after good sex.
When he comes awake it is with a jolt. His mind is awash with confusion and panic, his eyes are hurting from the light in the room even though it is muted. He has no control over his limbs, they feel as though they have been injected with Novocain. His mouth is dry and his throat is sore and burning. It takes Schuldig a moment to collect himself enough to realize that the sensations he is feeling are not his own. Aya is awake.
Schuldig sits up in the bed, his heart pounding in his chest. He has to get to the hospital. He had wanted to be there when Aya woke up. Adrenaline is flooding his body making it very hard for him to think, he can feel the buzz that is the thoughts of those near by starting to fill his head as his mental shields are dissolving. He has to calm down. He takes a very deep breath and closes his eyes and reconstructs the metal block that keeps the world out of his head.
When he is satisfied that he has reformed his barriers he jumps from the bed with such force that he wakes the boy next to him. He reaches for his clothes, behind him he can hear the sleepy protest of the teenager not happy about being jarred from sleep.
"Get out," Schuldig says without looking at the boy. He should take a shower, he smells like sex and he doesn't want Aya to smell someone else on him.
"What?" The boy asks, Schuldig can hear the bed creak as the boy moves.
"Get the fuck out, now." Schuldig reaches into his jacket and pulls out his wallet, he turns to the boy and throws 70,000 ¥ at him, "Be gone when I get out of the shower." He carries his clothes into the bathroom with him and shuts the door.
*******Aya is having a glaring contest with the large orderly who is holding a syringe, Aya's eyes are burning and the light is making them water giving the man the advantage, but he is not going to look away. The nurse and the two men who had dropped him onto the bed are hovering in the corner of his vision but he is not letting them distract him. He has inflicted enough pain on all of them, no matter how minor, for them not to try and approach him again. The large man is the only one he needs to worry about at the moment.
His nose is still bleeding from pulling out the thing that had been obstructing it. He can taste the coppery liquid in the back of his throat as it runs down from his sinuses. His groin is hurting from where the catheter had been, he has no memory of doing it but he must have pulled that out as well. There was also an IV line in his left arm, that he remembers removing, but he had done it in a blind panic and the needle broke off in his arm.
"I know you must be confused," The large man is saying in a soothing voice, "you are alright. No one here is going to hurt you. We just want to help you." Aya can tell by the way the man is clenching and unclenching the hand that does not have the syringe that he is getting ready to make his move.
Aya tries to tell the man to stay away from him but his throat doesn't want to work, all he manages is a soft croak. He knows that he will not be able to fend off the man if he moves in on him. The head board of the bed that is leaning against is the only thing that is keeping him from falling over. He has managed to bite the other two men and the nurse and he hopes that he will be able to get the large man as well. He may not be able to stop him from giving him the shot but he will at least guarantee the man will need a tetanus shot himself.
"My, my, Kitten," a familiar voice says sounding amused, "you certainly know how to make an entrance don't you?"
Aya can feel his heart jump, Schuldig, Schuldig was there. Aya is torn, he is afraid to take his eyes off of the orderly knowing that the man will use the break in Aya's attention to inject him. Yet at the same time he wants to make sure he has the German in view. Again he tries to tell the orderly to leave him alone, and again it comes out as nothing more than a weak sound in the back of his throat.
"If you would all please just give us a moment," Schuldig says, the humor still in his voice. "I will calm him, the drugs are not needed at the moment."
Aya watches the orderly first blink and then lower his arm with the hypodermic needle in it. Looking confused the man begins to walk towards the doorway. Aya follows him with his eyes until the man walks behind Schuldig. He then transfers his gaze to the German. Even with blurry vision Aya can tell that Schuldig is beaming.
"All of you now," Schuldig swats his hands at the remaining hospital workers as if he were trying to chase away a fly, "shoo, shoo. I will call for you when you are needed." Obediently they walk towards the door. Schuldig steps further into the room to let them exit.
"You are a mess mein kleines*," Schuldig says when they are alone. "I will get you something for the blood." He walks into the small bathroom. Aya can hear the water running and then Schuldig is walking towards him, a wet towel in his hand. He sits down next to Aya and very gently wipes the blood off of Aya's face. Aya is shocked. He should be nervous, he should be frightened that one of his worse enemies is so close to him, but he is relieved instead. He feels safe.
Schuldig frowns when he is done cleaning Aya up, "You don't remember?" He sighs, "Ah well I didn't really think you would, but it is all in there still, that is what counts." Schuldig drops the blood stained towel on the floor and then he moves in closer to Aya. He gently pushes Aya's hair off of his forehead and then before Aya knows what is happening Schuldig is holding his face by the chin and kissing him softly on the lips.
Aya tells himself that he is not fighting because he is too weak to pull away. But when Schuldig's tongue brushes across his lips, Aya willingly opens his mouth to let it in. Gently Aya sucks on the invading muscle even as his brain is screaming at him to stop. Schuldig moans softly and Aya can feel the vibration in his mouth, for a moment Schuldig intensifies the kiss, letting his tongue explore the inside of Aya's mouth, his breath coming faster as his fingers begin to wrap around the back of Aya's neck. Then suddenly he breaks the kiss and pulls his head back. He leaves his hand on Aya's neck.
"The subconscious is a beautiful thing," Schuldig smiles and rubs his finger against the bottom of Aya's ear before he lets his hand drop.
Aya wants to ask what the hell is going on? He wants to know where he is, what happened to him, why the hell he just got butterflies from being kissed by one of his worst enemies? Again only a small sound escapes from the back of his throat.
Schuldig raises his fingers brushes them across Aya's lips, his voice is very soft as he speaks "Not enemies, we are not enemies, I am the only friend you have."
Aya lets those words sink in. He cannot say he believes them completely but on some level he feels that Schuldig is speaking the truth. He closes his eyes, they are still sore and he is starting to get very tired. He feels Schuldig's fingers brush across his closed eye lids and he feels his stomach flip again.
"You were stabbed," Schuldig tells him answering the question that is fogging his mind. "You almost bled to death. You lost so much blood you went into a coma. That was more than a year ago. You were in another hospital for a few months and then I had you transferred," Aya forces his eyes open again to stare at Schuldig, "You have been here ever since."
//How?// Aya tried to project his thoughts at Schuldig since he cannot speak.
// Scheiße! nicht so laud **// Schuldig winces, // I hear you fine if you just think normally//
//How did I get here?// Aya watches as Schuldig takes hold of his hand, he doesn't try to pull it away.
"I brought you here." Schuldig begins to massage Aya's hand in his own. His eyes staying fixed on Aya's face.
// I was in America, but this is Tokyo// Aya frowns and looks up to Schuldig's eyes, they seem to be glowing with an inner fire //How did I get to Tokyo?//
"An airplane," Schuldig smirks, "the food was horrid but you didn't really notice."
//I was in the street // Aya is remembering when he was stabbed. The face of the young boy, he had looked like Youji, that is what he had thought when the boy had run into him. That he was seeing what Youji may have looked like as a young boy. Aya hisses, Schuldig has tightened his grip on his fingers, grinding the bones in his hand together.
"Sorry, sorry," Schuldig lifts Aya's hand to his mouth and kisses it, "Seeing you replay the memory, seeing it happen again, I don't like it."
//Crawford? Crawford saw me getting stabbed and you saved me?// Aya stares at his hand, the skin where Schuldig kissed feels hot.
"You are smart Kitten," Schuldig pushes the hair off of Aya's face again. He cannot seem to stop touching him.
//You went to America for me? Why?//
// I would go anywhere for you // Schuldig says in his head as he projects his feelings, //Anywhere in the world for you//
Aya is over whelmed with the other man's emotions. Excitement, joy, desire, lust, and something else, something that burns deep inside of the telepath that Aya doesn't want to think about, doesn't want to have to name. //I am tired//
"I'm sure you are," Schuldig's hand is once again at the back of Aya's neck, the other slips around Aya's back and he lowers Aya down so that he is laying on the bed. His long hair brushes against Aya's face, it is wet. "I will let the doctors back in now, but you have to behave for them."
//No tubes// Aya tries to glare up at Schuldig but his eyes are still sore and he ends up squinting, with a sigh he closes his eyes //I don't want tubes or needles//
//Afraid that is not an option // Schuldig's voice is stern in Aya's head //You have been out for a long time. I don't think you will be able to eat for a while, you need the tube to feed you. You need the IV to keep you hydrated. And I am sorry but you need the catheter for the time being so you don't ruin the bed. Or maybe you would rather a diaper? //
Aya frowns at this and Schuldig chuckles. "Didn't think so." Aya feels the bed shift as Schuldig lifts his weight off of it.
//Don't go// Aya opens his eyes and tries to sit up.
"Shhh," Schuldig gently pushes him back down, "I am just going to let the doctors back in, I will be right back."
Aya watches as Schuldig leaves the room and he cannot take his eyes off of the door until he sees the man come back in. He is followed by the two men who had placed Aya on the bed. One of them is carrying the hypodermic that the orderly had tried to inject him with earlier. Schuldig sits down on the bed and begins to run his hand through Aya's hair, telling him it is ok, that he is safe and not to fight. Aya watches the needle pierce his arm and he can feel the sedative, a cool invasion in his blood.
//Don't go// Aya tries to keep his eyes focused on Schuldig, but they are growing too heavy.
//Not going anywhere Kitten// Schuldig takes Aya's hand again //I will be right here//