Chapter 12
Farfello was buried in his native soil, in his hometown though it was only their slightly diminished group that watched the burial. There were few that would have even known of his existence and even fewer that would recognize him now.
It had come as a great shock, as they later learned, that in some way Farfello lived on if only in Brad's mind. Generally that might have been a sentimental statement, but they meant it quite literally. Somehow, placing himself so close to their friend's dying body and triggered something and Farfello's spirit and entered Brad's own mind. They weren't sure what had caused it, perhaps some odd power of Brad's that they had no knowledge of and still could not predict, or it was some powers of Farfello that they had never encountered.
Whatever it was, Brad was no longer alone. Farfello did not have the ability to overpower Brad and indeed, he seemed to lay dormant most of the time, content to dwell in the order and sanity within his mind. After the chaos that had been most of his existence, Brad's mind was a very peaceful, if not spare reality where he could observe the outside world without his previous biases and half-truths.
The change had at first bothered Schuldig because his lover no longer felt completely like he should, with just a bit of Farfello's thoughts to change his perception of his mind. He got over it quickly, however, as Brad himself was the same as always though for a time it was a trial to keep Schuldig out of his thoughts - they were so fascinating to him. To him it almost felt as if his lover had been possessed, but it wasn't completely like it because the spirit's personality would generally dominate the normal personality. It was something the redhead had never encountered before, so he was very eager to study it and Brad was not altogether enthusiastic about having his brain picked apart, even by Schuldig.
Nagi once more tried to come to terms with his incredible powers, tying them down and wrapping himself in a void where nothing could harm him. There were answers to be found somewhere, but he couldn't understand where that would be and though he loved his motley family, there was a feeling deep within him that told him he belonged somewhere else. Farfello was in a strange limbo-state and the group broken and eventually he felt compelled to say his goodbyes once and for all. Schwartz was dead and, if he thought about it much, he knew it should have disengaged ages before, though it had taken a tragedy for him to realize that.
There was still one more task that he had to complete first, in the name of Schwartz, and that was the destruction of those "perfect" creatures that Rosenkruez had created. He separated himself from Schuldig and Brad and went out hunting on his own, hoping his friends would find some peace together now that they had officially disbanded. Rosenkreuz proved harder to track than he had imagined and by the time he had discovered their location he found something else interesting: Kritiker had targeted them again. Why that should concern him, he didn't know, but just the thought of it stirred something inside him and he had the thought that he might see Omi again.
Which, he realized, was logical, but it should not have made his heart beat faster. There were few things that he had any reason whatsoever to and that was if his friends (who were few) were in danger, if he was being threatened (which wasn't often since most people didn't want to fight him after even a small demonstration of power), or - well, he supposed there wasn't a third one. Until now. Though why it should have anything to do with Omi was a point of confusion in his mind. It shouldn't matter, it shouldn't mean anything and yet it did.
His time away from Schuldig and Brad had helped him to improve his newly found skills in telepathy and, as he discovered, an empathic touch, as well. It was odd to find out about his empathy, as he tended to try to remove himself of all emotions. It was odd, really, to touch other people's feelings and yet have no grasp of what it was they were feeling. There had been a girl that had brushed against him and for a moment he had felt a flare of a deep, burning emotion that was somehow bright and wonderful and strangling at the same time. He still had not placed what it had been, exactly, but he could feel a similar sensation in him at the thought of the blond assassin. (1)
Confronting the being created by Rosenkreuz (he could not call them human because in truth they were not; their thought patterns were so corrupted as to be almost machine-like, programmed, obedient, lifeless) was harder than he had expected. He blamed it on Omi, though, he blamed it on him for being there, for distorting his concentration, for stopping the redhead from forcing him to kill him. Nagi didn't like killing; he never had and he assumed that that was due, in part, to how much he had been sheltered by the members of Schwartz, especially Schuldig. He had sensed them on the scene, knowing they had unfinished business there and that though they weren't fighting together, they would still be stronger for their combined presence.
Afterwards he had naturally drifted toward them just to touch base and see how they were doing. According to Schuldig, they were leaving for America and they would be settling down there in normal, legal occupations. Nagi wondered how long THAT would last, but choose not to comment on it.
"Have you talked to him?" The question was asked out of the blue and startled him in its abruptness. For some reason he knew exactly the "him" he was talking about.
"Before the fight."
"Not before that?"
He shook his head slowly, wondering what Schuldig was getting at.
"You should. He seemed... somewhat protective of you and it would be nice to know that we aren't leaving you here all alone."
Nagi stared at him silently. "Schuldig? I want you to tell me something."
"Hm? What's that?"
For a moment he hesitated, uncertain if he really wanted to do what had entered his mind. It was an odd thought, but it was the only one that might explain to him what was going on. So he did it. For the first time in his short life he voluntarily dropped the tight shields around his mind and projected himself to the redhead.
Startled, Schuldig staggered backwards a few paces, his eyes widening. "Nagi!" he whispered, but whether it was surprise, fear, or even relief that lurked behind his spoken name, he could not determine.
"What is it? That feeling?"
"Che," he uttered, shaking his head and trying to compose himself once more. "You mean lurking underneath the dark homicidal tendencies? My dear child, that would be one of the strongest emotions there is - the most wonderful and the most tragic there ever will be: love, pure and simple."
Love. "What do I feel towards you?"
Green eyes softened as he embraced the dark-haired boy, kissing him lightly on the forehead. "Well, love, but a different sort. A rather familial love, or at least something close to it. No, the emotion you feel most strongly is for someone very special to you. Your fates are tied together, something akin to soulmates, I should think."
"Are you and Brad soulmates?"
"No, but I don't think such a thing really exists. It's more of a fairy tale that people make up in order to comfort themselves that there is someone out there perfect for them. All relationships take work and compromises, but as long as you care about each other and can get along, that's really all that matters." He pulled away and stepped back towards Brad and despite that he had said it seemed that was where he belonged, as if they were two parts and together they formed a complete being, one soul. "We'll be in touch to make sure you are doing all right."
//You'd better. You'll have to tell me about America.//
//I will, don't worry. Now, go and talk to him, all right? I'm sure you can trace him easily enough if you just think about it.//
Brad shifted slightly, bumping Schuldig. "Not all of us are telepaths."
"What a shame! It wasn't that important, anyway." Their usual banter started up once more and Nagi watched them, a soft smile forming. A sort of peace settled over him as he turned to leave them, having sensed the conclusion of their time together and the start of a new beginning. A somewhat terrifying new beginning, but one that might prove to be interesting.
It didn't take long to find Omi. As Schuldig had suggested, there seemed to be a radar in his mind that directed him to him, a constant pull toward him as if his path had already been cemented. He was surprised at the location, however. It was a mansion and not a safe house like he had associated with him; he knew he wasn't wrong and that this was the right place. There were guards, but it was a simple matter off sneaking inside.
He found him slumped in an overstuffed chair, looking exhausted and childlike; there was a deep conflicting turmoil within him that gave him pause. There were many things he didn't know about him, many things he had yet to learn and one thing for sure was that he was a more influential person within Kritiker than he had originally thought. This was no ordinary assassin and for some reason it occurred to him that he might be the force behind their entire organization.
"Takatori-sama?"
Takatori? His eyes widened slightly as he forced himself to blend in with the shadows of the room as Omi stirred, but did not open his eyes, too worn even to do that. "What is it?"
"Are you all right? When you came in you -"
"I'm fine, really, I just need some rest." There was quiet, unconvinced assent from the other side of the door and then footsteps signaling a retreat.
Omi curled himself into a tight little ball, managing to look even more miserable than before. "Sena, poor kid. Gods." He seemed to try to jerk himself out of his mood for a moment. "But it wasn't as if - and yet it was because - if I hadn't - and it's all really not fair."
"No, it isn't." He watched his reaction, saw him spring to his feet a shout on his lips that died upon seeing him step into the light. Did he feel it, as well, or did he not know as he hadn't known not so very long ago what it was?
"What are you doing here?" There was a wary edge to his voice, recalling his semi-threat earlier and wondering if he planned on carrying it out.
What, indeed? A reasonable question. "I wanted to see you."
Omi took a sudden breath then collapsed back into his chair. "Schwartz has disbanded, hasn't it?" He didn't wait for a reply, obviously already knowing the answer, possibly from whatever sources he possessed. "Do you know who I am?"
"Omi."
"No, I mean really. Do you know who and what I am?"
Nagi studied him carefully for a moment before approaching him, sensing the importance of the question and what it meant to him. "As I said, you are Omi."
He shook his head. "I am Takatori Mamoru. I destroy lives, I sent people to their deaths, and more than half the time I'm doing the wrong thing and I don't care."
"Right now you are Omi."
"How do you know?" he demanded suddenly. "How can you when I barely know you?"
That was it, that was the great conflict that he had sensed from him, the reason that he was so confused and upset. "You barely know yourself."
The tears were somewhat unexpected and when he curled in on himself, Nagi could only stare at him with an expression of horror (or at least as close as he ever got to expression emotion). Something told him that he should go to him and try to comfort him, but he didn't know how so he just stood there silently and watched. "I- I can't help it! I'm going crazy and I don't know who I am anymore!"
Suddenly he was on his feet, pacing back and forth like a caged animal and only further agitating himself. The words that left his mouth made little or no sense and for a moment it had appeared as if he had gone quite mad; with his abilities he could pick up the two personalities that were at war with each other. There might have been more than two, but there were only two that truly mattered, two dominant personalities that were fighting for control. And he had to do something before he truly did lose his mind as Farfello had.
Omi gasped as a hand suddenly grabbed him and he found himself being flung backwards into a chair.
"You think you are the only one who has ever felt that way?" Nagi was straddling his legs, pressing closer and closer to him, his hands taking his face firmly between his hands so that he could not look away. He didn't know how to comfort him, but he knew how to subdue and startle someone back into reality. "You are not alone."
Mamoru/Omi shook his head frantically, terribly confused. "But who am I? I don't know anymore and maybe I don't want to know!"
"Omi!"
He jerked in reaction to the name, staring up with hazy eyes up at the younger man that was fitted so tightly against him. "Omi?" he repeated. "Is that who I am?"
"Listen to me - it is okay to be both of them."
Omi's vision cleared and a frown formed on his innocently questioning face. "What do you mean it's okay to be both? Why - how is - I mean, does that make sense? Aren't I definitely one or the other?"
"Nothing is ever clear cut in the real world. Maybe nothing really makes sense and that is how it is supposed to be. But I do know you can be both of them because there are two of me, too. We co-exist." Nagi lowered his chin slightly in order to capture the tempting, slightly parted lips before him. When he pulled away they were both gasping for breath and more than aroused; he had no idea why he had done that except for the fact that it had felt right. Apparently Omi agreed. "I will love both of you no matter what. You need both of them because there are some things Omi can do that Mamoru cannot not and vise versa and maybe one day you will find out that there is no longer a difference between the two of you, that you are both of them in one body and mind, but until then you are both separate. And that is okay."
"Love?" he whispered. "I don't know if I'm capable of that and -" Omi gasped as he felt a flood of thoughts/feelings that weren't his projected at him and he what he had tried to deny before he could not ignore now. He had felt it from the moment that he had seen him all those many years ago, even when they had been mortal enemies; he had not wanted to believe it then. But now, he wanted to believe, he really did and it was so tempting. "Is it? Can you really love both of me?"
Was it even possible to make a relationship between them work with all the conflict that had been between them before? Could any of his friends - lackeys - no, friends, could they understand and accept this if he were to try to explain it?
"Of course. I know what you are going through and it is difficult, but you can't just abandon one of them because they are you. Omi couldn't deal with what Mamoru does and in the end it is a matter of balancing them out and using them when you need to. It will become second nature to you with enough practice."
Omi nodded slowly, trying to absorb this new information. "You said you have two personalities, too? How are yours different? I mean, you are mean different now than the other times, like when you were trying to kill me by slamming me into walls and such, but, um, do yours have different names?"
"Prodigy." (2)
"Prodigy?" he echoed hesitantly. "What is he like, or, um, are you him now?"
His eyes clouded as Omi's had before and he shook his head. "He is an unreasonable aspect of me that I usually keep tightly controlled, but when I control him I don't feel anything at all. So in order to be at peace with myself I have to accept him. You have to accept Mamoru, as well, even if you don't want to because he holds the key to who you are - a broken individual hardened by leading the life of an assassin." Telepathy and empathy were far more useful that he would have initially credited them for and they made up for his rather lacking social skills.
"And what is Prodigy to you?"
Nagi's jaw tightened. "An angry, betrayed child that wants to lash out at the world for all the injustice that happened to him. He was traumatized more than anyone should ever be. That is the life that drives us to be assassins, though. We all have our pain, but we shouldn't keep it inside; it needs to be shared." And he was only now realizing that himself.
"You'll stay? With me?"
"I have no where else to go," he returned. "Eventually you'll have to explain my presence to your guards, you know."
"Yes, eventually." Omi felt Nagi start to pull away from him, obviously feeling a bit uncomfortable now that he was no longer hysterical and in need of calming down. Instead of allowing him to go he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer; he remained tense for a bit before relaxing marginally. "And you'll help me?"
He had no idea what he was getting into and it made him nervous to think about it. A relationship and an odd one at that - not that he had ever thought that he might have a normal one or anything. "I'll help both of you to the best of my ability."
"And I'll help you and Prodigy, as well." Omi sighed deeply as some of the heavy concerns of his soul melted away, if only for a moment. There was hope even when all seemed hopeless. If his hope came in the form of a sometimes homicidal individual, well, all the better because he was in the company of his own kind. And now maybe he wouldn't be so lonely, left alone with thoughts that only drove him closer to the edge. If he couldn't be with Weiss, then having someone he was so drawn to and felt such a deep connection with by his side was just as good, if not better.
A/N: I didn't like having to kill Farfello since I did adore him as a character, but Gluhen kind of implied that he had been killed so I went with it. Otherwise, how else was it that Farfello was within Brad's mind but was not there physically? There could be other explanations, but that was the conclusion I initially jumped to and hold to even now. I pieced it all together nicely and had to write this fic so I hope you enjoyed it! And while I realize I could have done a lot more with Omi and Nagi - who make a reeeally cute couple - I decided this was a good ending point. Who knows? There might be a part two... and inbetween "Tomorrow's Destiny" and "That Special Homicidal Feeling" filler fic; and if you haven't read "Tomorrow's Destiny", you should because it helps give some resolution to the Nagi/Omi relationship (even if the focus is not solely on them).
(1) *shuts out all images of Gluhen Omi* Grey hair? What? No one EVER gave him grey hair! Lol *huggles original girly Omi*
(2) I saw somewhere that this was Nagi's, er, I guess it was his code name. Nagi is to Prodigy as: Omi is to Bombay; lol. I forget the other members of Schwartz's code names, oh, wait, Brad was Oracle, I believe. Don't recall the other two, though.